pensieve.me

An ode to Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg

Quite possibly the only best Facebook poem you'll ever read ~

 

Oh, Facebook, you enigma

I do not understand

How you hold me captive

I am putty in your hand.

 

Check in for just a minute

But then an hour has passed.

Mark Zuckerberg is brilliant!

His Black Hole sucks time so fast!

 

"What's on my mind," you question.

For some, "How do I feel?"

Important, caring questions,

(If only you were real.)

 

A soapbox and a megaphone

A place to rave and rant

"Go Daddy is disgusting!"

Moms' Super Bowl ad chant.

 

Don't know a thousand people

but two thousand friends are mine

How can that be possible?

Have we crossed a line?

Redefining friendship

To faces I can't place

When put like that, ridiculous!

Amazing/pointless race.

 

Oversharing way too much

It's cause for consternation

Don't wanna know your issues with

Cramps or constipation!

And yet you post those pictures

Of babies smeared in poo,

Or worse, when girls lose their minds--

Post selfies, clothes too few. 

 

Like apocalyptic zombies

Under Facebook mind-control

Could it be world domination

Is Mark Zuckerberg's end goal?

 

Net worth at 14 billion

And he isn't even 30.

The Winklevoss twins would say

"That's cause he plays so dirty."

 

I can't imagine what comes next

Addictive net fixation

The thing that knocks Mark off his throne

The next big web sensation.

 

But for now Zuck owns the crown

He's earned the right to shout--

"I'm Kiiiiing of the Wooooorld!"

Is there any doubt?

 

 

With thanks to my nephew, Matt, for his brilliant photoshop...

...and to James Cameron, Leonardo DiCaprio and Danny Nucci for "letting" me borrow this image from Titantic...

...and crossing my fingers Mark Zuckerberg never sees this and decides to shut down my Facebook account before I decide to do it myself....

How I celebrate National Whipped Cream Day

Whipped cream or marshmallows? Is there really any question???

In case you didn't know, today is National Whipped Cream Day. Apparently there's some controversy behind this most auspicious of occasions, but far be it for me to withhold celebration from one of my favorite things on the planet.  Held annually on Reddi Wip founder/Aaron "Bunny" Lapin's birthday (January 5th), today I pay homage with a little verse.  

A can of Reddi Wip might not provide the color and pagentry of my beloved Dunkin Donuts, but my undying love and affection is just as sincere.  

 

An Ode to Reddi Wip

Come here my sweet darling 

Please do what you do

When no one is lookin'

And it's just me and you.

 

I'm glad that you're different,

You're good and you're real

Creamy perfection

I can't help but squeal!

 

Sacchariferous magic

No other comes close

The try but they're fake,

Disgusting and gross.

 

In one hand I hold you

Bring you close to my lips

Close my eyes, open wide

My heartbeat, it skips!

 

That sweet sound you make

It's joy, so delicious!

Low cal and real dairy--

You must be nutritious!

 

Whenever you're near

Smiles abound, much elation

National Day in your honor?

A whipped cream celebration!!

 

 

The propah way to celebrate National Whipped Cream Day ~ Reddi Wip straight from the can! #Don'tjudgeme

 

Cinnamon: a (poetic) December abstraction

Cinnamon

Burnished talc, I'd mistake it for cocoa if not for its scent,
tell-tale and irresistible

Pied Piper, spice-song filling the air, in anticipation they follow invisible tether, a chorus of "Mmmm, that smells good!",
their love-song back

Redolent intoxication, breathing in present, exhaling the past

The taste of Mama's love, the feel of home

A portkey to childhood, stirring memories spicy but sweet. 

Shyly, I'm joining my brilliant writer-friend, Amber, as she invites others to join her in "using the concrete to speak of the abstract."  This week's prompt is "cinnamon."

Years ago, in one of those streaks when I fancied myself a poet, I invented a poetic form:  a Pensieve (brief explanation below but this explains more).  I haven't written much poetry lately, save the occasional haiku, but I still love the premise of a Pensieve.  It's challenging (at least for me) to attach all the senses to a subject, but by the time you finish, you've looked at something through a myriad of lenses, and maybe for the first time, have seen a different point of view or a more complete picture (when you didn't even realize one was lacking).

I was planning to write about the cinnamon ornaments my children made when they were littles, but I haven't yet found them as I sift through the mess my babies made when they "helped" me last year by putting away all of our Christmas stuff. I needed to see the ornaments again for inspiration....

 * * * * * * *

What is a Pensieve poem?  A titled, five-line poem; each line correlates to one of the five senses--sight, sound, scent, taste, touch--and describes the subject (title).  The goal is for the reader to take on the poem as his own, being able to "experience" your subject through your words, by seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and feeling what you described.

What happens when I read Billy Collins and make a cake the same day

More Than a Mixer

bright sunbeam, rubied

the shade of apples candied

and lips painted red--

a match maker

wedding flour and egg and sugar and butter

and that shot of vanilla

(most always vanilla)

into something wonderful.

they drool in wait 

to lick the beaters 

put-'em-on-the-shelf clean

and beg earnest to 

"leave some batter in the bowl"

and a good mama learns

to give in to that wish

'cause no one's gonna miss that smidgen of cake

but she'll miss out on their delight.

say yes when you can

and save those no's 

only for when they're 

necessary.

Because one day

you'll have all the batter

to yourself.

Inspired by Google Doodles

An Ode to Google Doodles

They're King of the World

Alexa says so

Much to Mark Z-berg's chagrin.

I've figured it out, I know what it takes

For Google to squeak out this win.

 

Hot in pursuit, top ten on the list:

Facebook and You Tube and Wiki

Amazon, Yahoo, Twitter, three more--

Oh, the internet's web is so sticky!

'S'not just about brains

the others have those

#1 demands that you're clever.

Creative and artsy, yes these are a must

if you stand a chance whatsoever.

 

So, why is it Google sits on the throne

the King of internet traffic?

I'm convinced it's their doodles, they make searching FUN--

Brilliance captured in graphic!

  

: : : : : : : : : : : 

Sometimes interactive, often historical, occasionally cryptic but always witty or whimsical, Google Doodles make me smile.  I'm always a little disappointed when it's the plain ol' Google search box, but I suppose it makes me appreciate doodle brilliance all the more.

It's the little things...right?  

Do you have a favorite doodle that made a lasting impression?  Search through the Google Doodle museum and share your favorites!!

When love overwhelms

between the lines

it's impossible for them to know

this tender desperation

insisting, impetuous

be still, my heart!

 pounding pounding

each wisp of time

skin to skin, sweet assurance

still here still here

for a while not for an ever

looking at them, curious   

sensing the familiar

seeing the new

growth, perceptible

the outside kind

sometimes and always

but the inside kind, too  

slow down! a plea

on deaf ear falls

and in this, a discovery of motherhood:

my hope for long life

has become less about adding years to my own

and more about

seeing them

m e n

b e c o m i n g 

filled out and full

laughter and love

lessons learned well

watching them

still

sometimes and always

tend, work, empty, fill

for good for great for god

this all this

and, yes, more than this

is shouted

and shrouded 

in every hug til then.

An Ode to Spring Cleaning

Wowza...my friend Christine at I Dream of Clean is hosting a huge Spring Cleaning Challenge with some pretty big prizes at stake.  Though I won't have opportunity to Spring Clean until I get home, my family assures me they've kept our house spic and span in my absence.  We'll see soon.

I wrote this poem a while back and thought I'd dust it off and clean it up a bit to post along with Christina's challenge.  Isn't Spring Cleaning more fun when you set it to poetry??

An Ode to Spring Cleaning

I have really been a' meanin'
To begin some fresh Spring cleanin'
But there's always somethin' else I'd rather do.

But, the house, she's just a' callin'
Cause the windows, they're appalling!
Kitchen walls, splattered with a sticky goo!

Name in dust, my fingers tracin'
And my heart is really racin'--
Cobwebs filling all the corners of each room.

Oh, the baseboards are so dirty!
Scummy bathtubs, it's not purty--
Where's the mop?  Grab a rag!  I need the broom!

Counters filled with paper fountains
Stinky socks build laundry mountains
Mile-long list of things to do, I think I'm drowning!

Wash the dog or wash the car?
Who needs it worse?  The dog by far!
Sees the soap and runs away, so now I'm frowning.

Ceiling fans--I'll have to climb
Cause they're caked in dusty grime
Keep me safe, Lord, when I'm standing on the table

Crack the whip, recruit some help
Yes, they're gonna scream and yelp
Kids will protest but they're strong and fit and able.

Self-cleaning oven, praise the Lord!
A frenzied mother's sweet reward!
Start the vacuum 'cause the carpet is repulsive.

Now it's time to stop my stallin'
Cause the house is still a' calling,
Oh, I wish I were obsessive or compulsive.

I won't update a single status
From any techie apparatus
Not my iPad or my laptop or my cell.

All my friends will have to wait
For my next riveting update
What will they do?!  Will they survive?!  Guess time will tell.

Yes, it's time to walk away
Stay offline for all the day.
If I'm ever going to whittle through my list.

When it's done, I'll be so happy.
I'll probably write a post so sappy.
Posting pictures, if it's clean, I can't resist!

Robin Dance

The one which goes to show you I'll write a poem about ANYTHING!! (Plus, a $100 giveaway at the end)

{Revised with winner's name below.}

As my partnership with Vicks VapoRub comes to an end {sniff sniff}, and in anticipation of upcoming National Poetry Month, I've decide to write a poem in keeping with the unofficial ending of the Cold and Flu Season.  Make sure not to miss the FUN contest and giveaway details at the end!

 

An Ode to My Least Favorite Season

Winter and Spring and Summer and Fall

Four seasons, of course, but that isn't all--

A Fifth Season comes, the worst of the year

Cold and Flu is its name, spreading dread when it's here!

It often arrives when the weather turns cooler

(But can strike any time, just ask Ferris Bueller!)

It'll come without warning and no invitation

Nasty invasion, this germ infestation

Coughing and sneezing and fever and chills

The Cold doles out misery, cheap little thrills.

And meaner than Cold is his cousin the Flu

Who knows how to make you feel miserable, too.

Every bone in your body so tired and so achy

And when you get up sometimes you feel shakey.

Throat raw and itchy, nose sore and runny

There's nothing about being sick that is funny!

(Except maybe when I stuff into my nose

Lotion-soft Kleenex, damming snot when it flows!)

When your child has a cold, you turn into a nurse

(Grown men with the flu might be pitifully worse.)

Thankfully we have things that help us feel better

Like wrapped in your favorite, warm, woolen sweater?

Wait!  Over the counter, what's that I see?

A miracle potion that begins with a "V"!

Vicks VapoRub, been around 'bout forever

Invented by someone incredibly clever.

Medicated vapors, inhale one and all--

Ecalyptus and camphor and icy menthol.

Rub in this ointment and soon you will see

You can breathe so much better, you're almost ache-free!

 

Slapmenakedandhidemyclothes, but that was FUN to write! 

* * * * * *

Win a Medicine Cabinet Makeover valued at over $100! 

Includes all VapoRub products (Vapo, Vapo Cream, Vapo Lemon Scented, BabyRub), NyQuil (liquid & caplets), DayQuil (liquid & caplets) and Nature Fusion (liquid & caplets), and a special Feel Better Friend get-well kit-- a Vicks SNUGGIE, pillow, soup, candle, slippers and a Cool Moisture Humidifier. 

Y'all, you'll be able to handle just about anything that comes your way!

TO ENTER:  Visit Vicks' Facebook page and fill in the YOUR response to their posted question, "I know I'm getting better when I can finally smell ___________ (be sure to "Like" them while you're there).

THEN, come back and leave a comment here (with your answer or anything else) at least once to be registered.

Though I'll have to use a random drawing, will you try your hand at a short poem about Vicks VapoRub--a haiku, couplet, limerick--whatever your fancy?  Vicks Bloggers will choose some of their favorites to post on Vicks' Facebook page for all the world to see!  You'll be almost famous.... ;)   Deadline to enter is 3/21/12.

Easy additional ways to increase your chances (leave a separate comment for each one, and you're welcome to enter multiple formats):

• If you're on Pinterest and have a board for giveaways, Pin this post.
• Tweet about this giveaway; here's a sample:

Comment to win a $100 Medicine Cabinet Makeover from @vicksvaporub & @PensieveRobin #giveaway http://bit.ly/zRHSeW || Poems=brownie pts!

• Share this post on Facebook
• Stumble, Tumble, Kirtsy, Digg, etc. this post on your favorite social networking sites

CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR WINNER ~ #58, Michelle Tucker!

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

58	

Timestamp: 2012-03-22 06:48:08 UTC

 

Thanks to Vicks for supplying the giveaway and for including me in this season's Blogger Brigade!!

Note:  There was some earlier confusion about how I was supposed to host this giveaway, so my apologies to anyone who's seen a different version of the rules.

Eventually I get to the point; it ends in haiku

Early on in blogging, before there were such things as intention beyond spilling random thought, building your brand, or sponsored posts and giveaways, when everyone read everyone else's blog and actually commented (gasp!), before Facebook and Twitter and vanity URLs...

I had a blogging friend named Ree who wrote about livin' la vida loca, ranch-style.

There was a loosely-held community, bound by an affection for sharing words and life, and we really got to know each other, the way you can when you're channeling each others' thoughts on a daily basis.  My community's cast of characters included a wonderfully-endearing, dyslexic Coloradan who I think lives in a swamp, the first person who started commenting to me with some regularity (and I thought she was an oil baroness), her mother who sometimes painted masterpieces with words, a fabulous photographer, a curmudgeonly, ardently-cussy (& ultimately loveable) Australian, some mommy bloggers from Texas (including the pre-bloggess Bloggess)...and a pioneer woman.  The Pioneer Woman.  There were others in the mix, but many have long since stopped blogging or we've moved on.

Back in those days I religiously read every. single. person. who commented to my blog, and not only did I reply to their comment, I'd visit their blog and leave long, lovely comments to their posts.  It took a lot of time ~ all my time ~ and eventually in the pursuit of Life Balance, I became a sucky commenter (and for the most part killed a lively, ragamuffin community).

My mornings always began with my first cup of coffee and reading Pioneer Woman, a habit that lasted for years.  I still read her wonderful blog but with less regularity.

This morning I popped in on PW, delighted to find her entire post written in haiku!  If you follow me on Twitter and happen to see my early morning tweets, you already know I start most days with a little poem, more often than not, haiku.  Haiku composition demands word economy ~ not my strong suit ~ AND I love the creative prompt to begin my day.

So...when I read Ree's post, my heart burst into song and tiny cartoon hearts danced around my head!  I was compelled to reply with my own haiku, then promptly popped over to Twitter where I published this morning's daily poem, I think one of my favorites.

obsidian sky

diamond-sprinkled black velvet

softly kisses dawn

 

Haikus make me happy.  Haikus are FUN to write!  Haikus spark creativity for greater good!  Yes, yes--haikus can make your day BETTER!  Won't you share one with me right now?  What are you waiting for?  Giddy-up!!

 

photo credit

 

Picturesque & poetic: an Ode to Dunkin Donuts

My intention was singular:  I needed a Bavarian Cream doughnut for Clue #2.   

 

O.n.e. Bavarian Cream doughnut (or "Krapfen" as my imaginary German friend Herr Höferle informed me).

But, good gravy...when I walked through the doors of our new Dunkin Donuts, I heard the colors of the rainbow singing an oh-so-sweet tune (and saw, and smelled...and eventually tasted....), and then my plans changed.

Who am I to resist such a seductive siren's call?  Just look at these lively, little temptresses....

 

My family was most appreciative of my change in plans.

I'm feeling rather inspired after thumbing through my doughnut pictures for the umpteenth time; in fact, rather poetic.  Indulge me...?

 

An Ode to Dunkin Donuts

Dunkin Donuts Coffee, aroma so fine,

Each morning I wake to this Scent of Divine.

We love you so much, we buy by mail order

Oh, no, could we be an addicted bean hoarder?!

Please say it ain't so!  We just like our caffeine

From the best - and that's y'all - you, coffee machine!

One cup or two cups or dare I drink three?

Well, if I did that, all day would I  pee!

And by nighttime, I'm sure sleep would elude

Ensuring next day a grouchy, bad mood.

But wait!  There's a fix when insomnia lingers,

Sweet, sugared goodness all over your fingers!

Sprinkles and icing, doughnuts supreme

You won't find these treats at your Krispy Kreme!

You see, "Hot and Now" is all they can boast,

And here's why I love Dunkin Donuts the most:

Their coffee puts Starbucks, all others, to shame

Their doughnut perfection, I can't help but proclaim!

An edible rainbow, a colorful snack,

Delicious reasons I'll keep coming back.

 

Amen.