See...serpent!

Like the new bracelet my daughter brought me back from Guatemala?  It's the third bangle from the left.  The other three are my former friend Paige's pet snakes.  <--- yes, plural.

If I stumble across a snake in the wild, I'm likely to die a thousand deaths, and in the process, kill whoever's in hearing distance with a squeal that's certain to explode glass.  In captivity, I'm prone to tame them and wear them as scarves; handy, now that scarves continue as fashion trend.

Paige's snakes are named Bob and Frank.  Her girls told me that when I asked, but I'm pretty sure they made up those names on the spot.  They're tricky that way.

 

I can't remember which is which, but for the sake of this post, we'll call Bob the yellow and orange one; he and I got very close...

I'm pretty sure he knew this wasn't my neck and he was just trying to "welcome" me with a bear hug, snake style; aka a serpentine Napoleon complex.

Then Bob decided to get to know me a leeeetle bit bettah...

 

Paige, snapping away paparazzi-style (I'm sure now to distract me), tried to convince me that it feels good for a snake to slither across your skin.  It's cool.  It's smooth.  THEY LIKE TO CRAWL INTO YOUR SHIRT AND OUT YOUR SLEEVE!!

When she told me that, I flung that mutha across the room, grabbed my camera and my keys and barely escaped with my life!  

I'm just glad I survived to tell you the story.

Our "friendship", however, did not.