PENSIEVE

At the buzzer

Ten 6th grade boys are kings of their worlds tonight...and for this moment in time, they revel in the glory of an underdog's victory.  Its taste is more sweet than the celebratory "banquet" that followed, a spontaneous party fit for a queen, in a land of Oreo blizzards and chocolate-flowing rivers.

Sleep is not on the menu :).

Sunshine in her pocket

A comment made by a co-worker over 20 years ago crawled under my skin and took up permanent residence:  "I had to learn how to enjoy my own company."

My friend had always assumed he'd leave college with plans to marry shortly thereafter, but it hadn't worked out that way; he spent a lot of years living alone before finding The One.

It was an odd comment to me, and as I processed the thought, I realized I had never lived alone--first, with my family, then at college in a dorm full of girls, and after that, graduating to an apartment with two roommates. 

In seasons of temporary isolation, though, it was helpful to consider that "enjoying my own company" was a learned process; and part of that process was discovering what I liked about myself...the unique quirks and idiosyncrasies that make me, well..."me".  

One of my inclinations I like best about myself is my wholehearted delight in The Simple and The Ordinary.  Little things that others might overlook, or if they do notice, think silly or annoying, can alter the course of my day for the better. 

Like...

getting caught in the rain without an umbrella...

my tween son telling me I blessed him just because I snuggled with him at bedtime...

being the first entry when someone googles "best apple pie in the world"...

finding a bazillion sand dollars at my favorite beach and videoing a wild 10' alligator within spittin' distance...

pretty boxes of Kleenex...

Like snail-mailed kisses...

walking through our neighborhood during the Christmas season to see all the kitschy yard decor, and having a grin forced out of me when we discover Rudolph with a Bozo clown nose...

LIKE THE RED CARDINAL I JUST NOTICED OUTSIDE MY WINDOW THAT FLEW AWAY THE MOMENT I TURNED ON MY CAMERA!!!

You get the picture (just not one of the bird).

Anyways...

This week I had one of those relished moments that wouldn't mean a thing to some people, but it absolutely blessed my heart!  And it involved doing laundry, and if you can be blessed doing laundry, well that's Complicated and Extraordinary, not merely Simple and Ordinary.

I always check pockets before washing because a) there's always the danger of destroying my kids' lunch cards, hand-stamped pieces of paper, and b) years ago, I didn't check pockets, and a lipstick-painted load of lights later, I learned an expensive lesson.

On Monday, I reached into my daughter's jacket pocket and felt a small piece of paper which my brain processed as "Ah ha!  A lunch card!", before pulling it out to confirm.  How much fun to discover I was mistaken; it wasn't a lunch card at all.  It was a pocket full of sunshine (and even more precious was one of her friends had slipped it into her pocket).

So...I'm curious.  What are the things you've discovered you most like about yourself and/or do Simple and Ordinary things capture your heart?  Please do tell...your stories will be happy little sunbeams shining through my window :).

Thumbprints and kisses

 On my most favorite of days, the brick and mortar mailbox sentry standing silently and solemnly at the bottom of our steep, winding drive, serves as harbinger of buried treasure.   

Without knowing what precious gem awaits, I pull open the door and rifle through the stack of noise, a papered frenzy of carnies hawking for their wares. 

If I wanted to buy something, I'd go to the store; I resent their relentless intrusion. 

 Fresh air has found her way to the bottom of the pile, a welcomed guest among the uninvited.  She is cloaked in wrappings both familiar and unremarkable, serving merely as means to end. 

I don't have to shake this gift to know what's inside; I've received others in the past.  That only adds to my excitement, because I know what to expect: 

The voice of a child, reaching across worlds, in words and wonder.

She tells me she had a happy Christmas and that she wore a nice outfit.  She got a cooking set and dolls and is quick to thank me for my gift.  She tells me that her family is doing well and she hopes the same for me.  She asks me to pray for her mother.  Every day. 

Will I remember to pray for her mother every day? 

She sends me two gifts.  One is her signature in pink, her thumbprint; she can't yet write so her teacher becomes her scribe, an adult writing as a child, and it's the child I hear.

The second gift was invisible, delivered in five words and ending with exclamation:

I send kisses to you!

Her letter closes as they all do, "Love, Isaura".

A dollar a day is changing the course of her life; and because of that, she is changing mine.

How can I not love my Compassion "daughter"?

Winner of the iPod Touch

Sometimes, it almost pays not to know me.  Take yesterday morning, for example.

Using the Random Integer Generator, a number was selected.  I counted through the comments and was surprised when I realized I knew the winner.  So I recounted, remarkably landing on the same person. 

My immediate thought was "I can't give this to someone I know!" so I commenced to spazzing out on Twitter. 

I wonder if she saw that thread and wondered if it was her, lol.  She didn't say a word if that was the case.  Hehe, another friend direct messaged me asking if it was her, and I was hatin' having to tell her no.

Anyways, the unanimous opinion was a big "so what?", and a few suggested I take a screen shot of the RIG page if it made me feel better.  I finally got around to that, but I'm a bit horrified to admit how many tabs were open (which doesn't come close to my known high count:  39) because I'm A.D.D.  a wicked cat juggler a consummate multi-tasker.

I've stalled long enough.  Time to spill the beans:

Congratulations, Lisa Beeeeee, you're the proud winner of an iPod Touch (GET!  OUT!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???!!!).  Email your snail mail and I'll have my people contact your people with the deets. 

Don't thank me, thank Mr. RIG :).

 

THANKS to all who entered and shared how you're protecting your family's online activity.  Though most of you didn't win an iPod Touch, I hope what you learned about Norton Family Online proves much more valuable than the newest whizbang technology :).

Tradition matters

As a young mom juggling two babies during the "Cheerios and Crafts" phase of motherhood, I had no idea the long-range impact of a "yes" answer to a question posed by my mother-in-law 14 years ago:  she simply wanted to know if I'd be interested in hosting a Valentine Tea Party for my then three-year-old daughter.  To me, a mother-daughter tea party meant temporary suspension from diaper duty and laundry, and my enthusiastic "yes" required, oooh, about .01 nano seconds of deliberation. 

Having now graduated to the "Taxi Service and Sports Spectator" phase of child rearing, I realize it was an important decision despite the mindless expediency with which it was made.  More a brunch than a tea, our annual Valentine gathering has crystallized in my mind the value and significance of establishing family traditions.  Traditions have far-reaching implications, and though I've written with our Valentine Tea in mind, my hope is

• to seed ideas in you for cultivating and nurturing your own traditions
• to open your eyes to the "everyday traditions" you may not yet recognize
• to realize why they need to be an integral part of your family.

1.  Family super glue

Traditions strengthen and bind families.  Our Valentine Tea brings together the women in our family, particularly important because we don't live in the same place.  Though there are other times of the year when our guys are welcome, this day is special because it sets aside "girl time" with my sisters-in-law, nieces and a few special friends.  We don't have the luxury of quantity time; I'm thankful for condensed quality time.

(Except my father-in-law--he's our Chief Waffle Maker, so we allow him entry...for a little while, anyway.)

2.  Bridging the gap

Traditions don't see age differences as chasm but they do add depth.  Three generations come together for our annual Tea.  As we sit around a table, younger cousins learn from the older; a grandmother is able to share her heart about what's most important to her; young (and not-so-young) moms think out loud about parenting, celebrate their children's successes, share their struggles.

All among people who know them best and love them anyway. 

I say that with a wink, but the truth is, because people are imperfect, families and friendships are imperfect.  It's good to have reason to get together; holidays often provide the perfect backdrop to share a meal or celebration, mingling the company of those with whom we have shared blood through birth or marriage or faith.

3.  Repetition, Redundancy & Recapitulation

Tradition is like a broken record, spinning the same song over and over and over; its beauty lies in hearing the music, not in being stuck in a rut.  My sweet young friend, Alyssa pointed out the word "tradition" is derived from the Latin word "traditionem", meaning "handing over, passing on". 

The structure of our tea has evolved through the years.  In the beginning, it was oriented towards preschoolers:

• since they attended with their mothers, together, they'd make cards for their daddies
• they'd construct a simple Valentine's-related craft (oh, how I loved the Barney Box when my children were younger--glitter and glue all the way, baby!)
• brunch consisted of heart-shaped PB&Js for the daughters, frosted and sprinkled sugar cookies, strawberry Jello jigglers, Noni's famous butter mints.  Moms enjoyed a more sophisticated meal, but guess who snacked on the kid stuff, too?

Now, it's geared more toward "young ladies":

• no card-making for the dads any longer
• no craft making
• homemade waffles with strawberries and whipped cream has replaced peanut butter and jellies but the butter mints are still found in little bowls just about everywhere
  

The point is, guests generally know what to expect, though adaptation is made to accommodate age shift.  Some things have been consistent from the beginning:

• we dress to reflect "special occasion"
• china, crystal and silver are used, a perfect match to good manners
• we enjoy a meal that is as pretty to look at as it is good to eat
• little treats--surcies--are given to each guest; both me and my MIL keep our eyes open year-round to find the "perfect" little gift...sometimes it's handmade, too

4.  The Heinz Ketchup Effect

Expectancy and repetition translate to eager anticipation for traditions.  When our Christmas decorations are finally deconstructed and stored away in the attic until next year, I know to expect a phone call from Sarah to discuss the date and plans for Valentine Tea.  One of my favorite parts of the tradition is making the invitations; though it'd be easier to have them printed, I can't bear with losing that personal touch.  Even before they're mailed, though, there's an air of excitement about getting together to celebrate; I love watching the little girls play; it's pure joy to see how they've grown from party to party; and I delight in the company of my sweet sisters-in-law and sisters in love more than they'll ever know.

It's not just me, either; my sister-in-law told me how excited my niece was about the tea, and my heart absolutely MELTS. 

5.  Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em

Tradition for the sake of tradition isn't very effective.  Doing something just because it has always been done is not enough reason to continue it in the future.  Sandy, on a post at 4 Reluctant Entertainers, recognized that sometimes traditions do little more than add pressure or rob joy from holidays or special occasions.  She recommends considering how you can simplify or modify existing tradition...or when necessary, eliminating ones that no longer serve your family.  

In the early years, we invited my daughters' friends and their mothers to our party; it grew so large, we eventually culled back to make it more a family affair, with the granddaughters inviting only one friend and her mother.  The resulting intimacy has enriched the tea (as opposed to diminishing it due to fewer people). 

6.  Now you see it, now you don't

Traditions are often thought of only in the context of holidays or special occasions; but perhaps the most beautiful are the things you do as a family every day or on a regular basis. 

Recently, I asked a group of high school girls to share their favorite traditions (I believe it was following Thanksgiving).  I was surprised several of them didn't realize they DO have family traditions.  When the question was posed a bit differently--"What do you always do at Thanksgiving?"--they recognized eating a meal with family, going to visit grandparents...and even a burping contest IS tradition.  It's what makes their family unique.  

Some Facebook friends chimed in with a few more thoughts:

• Blake saw how much the little things have mattered to his own children as they've gotten older; that it was less about what it was (going to the beach, Sunday dinner after church or Georgia football games) and more about repetitive, meaningful and one day, cherishable, action.
• Lori pointed out how difficult it was when you lose a family member, to continue with traditions tied to person; establishing new ones can be just as difficult.

In recent years, brunch has begun with my mother-in-law reading from An Invitation to Tea (Teatime Pleasures) by Emilie Barnes, and I think it perfectly concludes my thoughts; I've substituted the word "tradition" where Barnes original text mentioned "tea":

Tradition...

"It's what happens when women or men or children make a place in their lives for the rituals of sharing.  It's what happens when we bother with the little extras that feed the soul and nurture the senses and make space for  unhurried conversations.  And when that happens, it doesn't really matter what [tradition] fills cups or holds the liquid.

It really isn't the tea tradition.

It's the spirit of the tea party tradition."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your thoughts?  Agree?  Disagree?  Much ado about nothing?  If you'd like to read more, consider the following links:

• Once Upon a Family, Traditions and Keepsakes
• "Traditions", Alyssa Avant at Beauty by Design Ministries
• "Why do you need a family vision statement?", Lisa Scott at Wisdom Pursuit
• "Too much tradition", Sandy @ 4 Reluctant Entertainers
  

 

 

 

 

Light reflections

South Carolina, February 2009, my inlaws' bathroom.  Valentine décor can be found in just about every corner of the house at our annual Valentine Tea Party.  This candle was a surcie I gave to guests a few years ago; a delightful surprise to see it put to use this year :).

Wordless Wednesday HQ

I love breakfast. ESPECIALLY when it's FREE!

Confession:  with a title like that, you know I'm nothin' more than six shades of silly, but that's sorta what you get if you cross National Pancake Day with (a local) Customer Appreciation Day.  Free breakfast.

If you're fortunate enough to live in the Chattanooga area, the Chick-fil-a on Gunbarrel Road is treating its customers to free breakfast every day this week!  One item per person per day* (so, yes, everyone in your family receives a freebie!) and no additional purchases are required. 

Pretty sweet for those of us who take to heart (and thighs and stomach) the mantra of the famed Chick-fil-a cows, "Eat Mor Chikin".  Chick-fil-a is my all-time favorite fast food, primarily due to their consistently delicious food and unmatched service in the industry, but also because I think its founder, Truett Cathy, is a modern day hero. 

If you've checked your calendar this morning, you already know it's National Pancake Day.  In honor of that, IHOP is offering a free short stack from 7:00 a.m.-10:00 p.m. today!  While it's not required, they do ask you to consider making a donation to the Children's Miracle Network, which sounds win-win for all.  

Belly up, people...it's free food all...day...long!

(*Thanks to my kids for the head's up!)

TennesSEE River

December, 2008.  Captured from the Walnut Street Bridge on Chattanooga's North Shore, you'd never know we were hundreds (okay, probably only dozens) of feet above the river.  Published for Carmi's weekly feature "Thematic Photographic" at Written, Inc.  This week's theme?  Busted.  Be sure to link you're own "busted" shots!

81st Academy Awards {So what?!}

I can't decide what this says about me:  the only Oscar-nominated film I've seen is in the Best Animated Feature Film category. 

There are a few I plan to see eventually--

• Slumdog Millionaire (while waiting to meet the guys from Yanni Voices at BlissDom 09, Andrea said I needed to see this if I was going to India, but because I know the story, I'm reluctant :/)
• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (I can't imagine how this movie "works", much in the way I couldn't figure out how "Groundhog Day" could work, but I think we're talking apples and orangutangs here...)
• Doubt (Philip Seymour Hoffman?  Meryl Streep?  They're nominated in their categories for good reason, I'm sure)

...but beyond those, I really couldn't care less. 

For some reason, I want not to care less.

The famed red carpet, beautiful gowns and beautiful people, Hollywood--it used to house mystique and glamour and something just out of reach.  Now, there's infinite accessibility to celebrities through entertainment news shows, magazines and ezines, and increasingly these days, social media. 

I suppose I'm in favor of a little mystery; the same way I think a woman is much sexier when dressing to accentuate her best features with a little skin showing in all her right places, as opposed to dressing like a stripper and giving it away whether or not anyone's buying.

But that's just me. 

What have you seen?  What are your favorites of 2008?  What do I "need" to see that's not already on my list?  Convince me--tell me why I'm way off base.  Or, if you agree, chime in.

For the record, I'll still watch the Academy Awards tonight--maybe not the entire broadcast, but enough to satisfy an appetite I don't quite understand. 

Photo credit:  oscars.org

{Revised: winners noted in bold}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEST ACTOR

Richard Jenkins, The Visitor
Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
* Sean Penn, Milk
Brad Pitt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler

BEST ACTRESS
Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie, Changeling
Melissa Leo, Frozen River
Meryl Streep, Doubt
** Kate Winslet, The Reader

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Josh Brolin, Milk
Robert Downey Jr., Tropic Thunder
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt
** Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Michael Shannon, Revolutionary Road

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams, Doubt
** Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis, Doubt
Taraji P. Henson, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler

BEST PICTURE
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader
** Slumdog Millionaire

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Frozen
Happy-Go-Lucky
In Bruges
** Milk
Wall-E

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
John Patrick Shanley, Doubt
Peter Morgan, Frost/Nixon
David Hare, The Reader
** Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
Bolt
Kung Fu Panda
** Wall-E

BEST ART DIRECTION
Changeling
** The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
The Duchess
Revolutionary Road

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Changeling
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
The Reader
** Slumdog Millionaire

BEST DOCUMENTARY
The Betrayal
Encounters at the End of the World
The Garden
** Man on Wire
Trouble the Water

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Australia
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
** The Duchess
Milk
Revolutionary Road

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT
The Conscience of Nhem En
The Final Inch
** Smile Pinki
The Witness - From the Balcony of Room 306

BEST FOREIGN FILM
The Baader Meinhof Complex, Germany
The Class, France
** Departures, Japan
Revanche, Austria
Waltz with Bashir, Israel

BEST FILM EDITING
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Frost/Nixon
Milk
** Slumdog Millionaire

ACHIEVEMENT IN MAKEUP
**The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Hellboy II: The Golden Army

BEST SONG
Down to Earth, WALL-E
** Jai Ho, Slumdog Millionaire
O Saya, Slumdog Millionaire

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Defiance
Milk
** Slumdog Millionaire
WALL-E

BEST ANIMATED SHORT
** La Maison en Petits Cubes
Lavatory - Lovestory
Oktapodi
Presto
This Way Up

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT
Auf der Strecke (On the Line)
Manon on the Asphalt
New Boy
The Pig
** Spielzeugland (Toyland)

BEST SOUND MIXING
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
** Slumdog Millionaire
WALL-E
Wanted

BEST SOUND EDITING
** The Dark Knight
Iron Man
Slumdog Millionaire
WALL-E
Wanted

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
** The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Iron Man

Meant to live!

I loved Switchfoot's The Beautiful Letdown; it was one of the first CDs I uploaded to my birthday iPod a few years ago, and if it was wearable-outable, I would've worn it out.  Though I've been disappointed by their releases since, Switchfoot won me as a fan because of the power of the lyrics, passion and message of The Beautiful Letdown.  "Meant to Live" is just one reason of many:).